acceptance - resistance - resilience

It’s tricky to practice acceptance when your world seems upside down, but without it, there can only be suffering. The opposite of acceptance is resistance. In other words, any way in which we’re not embracing the present moment exactly as it is.

We all experience some form of resistance each and every day, even over the things we know are enjoyable or good for us. Noticing this resistance is the first step to change. With a little cultivation, we can use this awareness to switch from resistance to acceptance, developing a greater sense of resilience to life’s challenges along the way.

Resistance

Sometimes resistance is subtle, a nagging feeling deep below the surface. Sometimes it’s more obvious, like those broken records that go round and round in your mind. Have you ever been caught up in a loop of thinking about how little sleep you had last night, or why your back won’t stop aching when you meditate? The chances are, you and resistance are old friends.

Of course, resistance can sometimes be useful. From an evolutionary perspective, it is a large part of what has allowed us to survive in the face of danger and uncertainty. However, if we allow resistance to drive our decisions and behaviours without awareness, it’s all too easy to become agitated, restless and ill at ease.

When our actions are guided by idealised notions of how things should be, we become separated from a real and direct engagement with life, exactly as it is. Whilst more resistance ultimately leads to more suffering, actively choosing a path of less resistance builds tolerance.

If we can learn to be present with our emotions and sensations rather than trying to escape them or change them into something else, we have an opportunity for growth. We develop a capacity to push our boundaries that little bit further.

Simply tracking sensations can help us to see that resistance often shows up as an embodied, physical "squirmy" feeling. Next time you notice you’re avoiding the pile of work building up on your desk or desperately holiday while at work, stop what you’re doing and take a deep breath.

Notice how each part of your body is feeling and try to determine where there are areas of tension or tightness - perhaps at your jaw, your chest or your belly.

More often than not, the simple act of observing and accepting the presence of resistance is enough to make it evaporate. After all, it is as transient as everything in life. Realising how quickly it comes and goes can turn down the volume of suffering in itself. Instead of judging what comes up, open yourself to simply experiencing it. Get intimate with it. Remember - it’s not about making it go away. Instead of always analysing and critiquing what you find, approach yourself with a childlike sense of curiosity.

Treat this practice as a life-long experiment of self-exploration, knowing that resistance to life’s inevitable challenges will give you endless material to uncover.
Namaste
xo